Kick the Wedding Day Jitters — Grand Rapids Wedding Planner: Amethyst.x.Emerald

As a wedding planner, I can absolutely say , beyond a shadow of a doubt; “I’ve seen it all”.

And while I wouldn’t say it happens at every wedding, sometimes NERVES strike. It’s completely natural and can happen to anyone (including wedding party members and parents). That’s why I make it a part of my job to be prepared for when nerves hit someone about to walk down the aisle.

Here is what I bring and do, as a wedding planner, to soothe your wedding day jitters.

Items to Help Soothe

There are definitely a few things I keep on hand at every wedding that really help soothe nerves, anxiety, and nausea;

-Preggie Pops (hard candies designed for women who are experiencing nausea during pregnancy). They are great for easing your stomach and taste great. You can find them in the baby aisle at Meijer.

-Mentos, they are chewy, tasty and minty. They are very helpful for an upset stomach and bonus, double as a breathmint!

-Tums, just always a good idea to have these on hand

-Essential Oils, I like to keep Peppermint and Lavender handy (along with some cotton balls). I’ll have people sniff them, diffuse them, or put a few drops on a cotton ball and carry it around for a few minutes. They can really give you a sense of calm and ease a headache or upset stomach

-The Ice Trick, first off, ice water does wonders for helping calm your insides. But… did you know about the ICE TRICK? If you feel a panic attack on the horizon, or is happening, grab one or two ice cubes in your fist and hold on. The cold will shock your system and help pull your brain out of the panic attack. You can also lightly rub the ice over your pulse points like your wrist, neck and temples. Just be mindful of your dress and makeup.

Actions To Help Soothe

Sometimes you can physically ease nerves by doing a few things;

-Deep Breathing, I recommend taking in a long full breath in through the nose for 4 counts, holding for 2 counts, then releasing out the mouth to 6 counts. Repeat until you feel more calm and do this as often as needed. Bonus points for closing your eyes and putting your hands on your belly while breathing

-Horse Lips, this is a handy trick to try right before walking down the aisle or a speech. You simple take in a deep breath, then release the air while loosely puffing your lips and allow them to flap and vibrate as the air is exhaled. Imagine a horse neighing or blowing a raspberry without sticking out your tongue.

-Dance Party, throw on your favorite tunes and have a quick dance party. This will loosen you up and get you in the mood to smile and celebrate.

-Jumping and Shaking, I recommend hopping lightly in place, while lightly shaking out your arms, wrists, feet, and legs. This helps physically release the jitters from your body.

Mindsets to Help Soothe

Here are some handy mindset shifts that can really make things easier if you are feeling nervous

-Deep Breathing, I’m mentioning this AGAIN, because taking deep calming breaths from your belly can literally be a lifesaver when you’re mind is racing

-Label It, if you’re feeling nervous, name it in your brain. Tell yourself “yes, this is just nerves, that’s perfectly natural, I’m ok”.

-Visualize, take a few minutes (even feel free to involve someone) to mentally visualize the day. Think calming thoughts, positive energy, light and love. Picture your day as if it already happened and it went amazing. What does that feel like?

Other Helpful Tricks

A couple more things to put into practice;

-Eat Well, please don’t forget to eat all day. Think light, easy foods such as salads, fruit, pastries, eggs, soup, granola bars

-Snack, consider snacking lightly throughout the day instead of eating a big meal

-Hydrate, opt for water instead of soda, coffee, or alcohol. Drinking water throughout the whole day will help you feel your best and stave away negative effects such as a headache, fatigue, and potential hangovers.

-Rehearse Your Vows, I recommend reading them out loud (either to yourself or someone else) at least a couple of times before the big moment

Things To Avoid

Take my word for it!!! I’ve seen many a wedding day get out of hand due to some of these things. Please please don’t do these things;

-DO NOT take any meds you are not very familiar with. Please don’t take your sister’s xanax or anything you are not comfortable with. You could have a bad reaction to it and then we are in a real pickle

-Alcohol, ok so I’m not going to tell you to not enjoy a little mimosa or glass of wine. Have fun! But avoid taking shots, drinking a lot, or starting too early. This could lead to many issues and you don’t want to be dizzy, drunk, or sick before you even get down the aisle.

-Hyperventilate, again with the deep breathing. If you are starting to panic, take a seat, put your head down, practice deep breaths, and grab an ice cube or drink of water. Breathe!

-Caffeine, right up there with alcohol. Don’t go hog-wild on the coffee or energy drinks. They can make you feel faint, increase heart rate, make you dehydrated, and lower your appetite. None of which will help you on wedding day. Try and drink more water instead.

-Involving lots of other people, hear me out; if you’re feeling nervous, it’s ok to tell someone. But if all of a sudden you have 12 girls fussing over you and trying to help, it could result in you feeling more stressed out. I recommend confiding in one or two trusted people to help you calm down instead of the whole group. Better yet, grab your planner and I’ll break out the trusty “Nerves Kit” and I’ll fix you right up!

Your Wedding Party

You would be surprised how often the scenario arises where the bride and groom are calm, but a parent or wedding party member is struggling with nerves. It’s a big day for them too and many times they have important roles or speeches. Here are some tips for them as well;

-Don’t skip the rehearsal. Rehearsals help everyone feel prepared and can really help with nerves

-Use tape to mark your spot. Making little markers at the front of the aisle (or assigning seats to parents) help them remember in the moment when they may forget due to nerves

-Don’t lock your knees. You probably heard your teacher say this to you during your 4th grade musical performance, but it’s good advice! Don’t lock your knees when standing!

-Don’t drink too much. Caffeine or alcohol! I recommend no hard liquor, no shots, and not having too much alcohol even available while getting ready. This helps everyone pace themselves. Reassure them, they have a long night of partying ahead.

-Provide Food. I highly recommend ordering out lunch or having food available while everyone is getting ready. Order those guys some Jimmy Johns and have a few platters of snacks for the gals. I also recommend a cooler of snacks and waters during photo hour after the ceremony.

-Stash items up front. I recommend having a few waters, tissues, and fans in those front seats or even hidden up front for the wedding party and parents. If someone is feeling faint, hot or has a cough, they can quick grab a sip of water or cool themselves off.

Reminders

Here are my final words of wisdom for you on wedding day;

-It’s ok to see your fiance before the ceremony if that helps your nerves. Sure, you may have planned to stay hidden, but heck, plans change. If you are feeling nervous, do a first look instead and help ease each other’s sanity a bit.

-It’s ok to change plans in the moment. Same as above, but feel free to cut things out, tell people no, or shift plans if needed. Feeling stressed? Hair going late? Skip a couple of small things and just relax instead. It will all be fine and you will still be married at the end of the day!

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